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Sui caedere

  • Feb. 20th, 2009 at 1:32 AM
Doll
Here am I, it's been some months... well, I haven't had much time and none inspiration. My biggest problem is that I don't know what to write...
But today there's something I want to "talk" about, suicide.

From the latin word sui caedere, suicide is the individual act of end his/her own life. Generally is caused by psychiatric disorders, depression, suffering (physical and/or emotional). It's more common among young people and more often with men than women. Men die much more often by means of suicide than do females, although females attempt suicide more often, because they are more likely to end their lives through effective violent means (guns, knives, hanging, etc.), while women primarily use more failure-prone methods such as overdosing on medications.
It is believed that the culture has a strong influence in this suicide tendencies. The suicide rates are usually higher amongst unemployed, divorced, people that live in big cities, people without children and people who live alone.
From the point of view of the person, suicide is rarely an end. It is considered the only escape route out of an unbearable situation.
Most people think that a person who commits suicide writes a note with their reasons, but generally they don't. And when they do, is usually to relieve some of the relatives pain, to tell them that they are/aren't guilty, to attracted attention and piety or to leave instructions to what to do to their belongings.

I believe that most of us know someone who ended his/her own life, or at least have heard of someone who did it.
I think is was about 10 years old. It was early in the morning and I was going to school when, walking by a basketball court I saw a men hanged in one of the baskets. It was the first time I heard the word and saw a suicide. From that day on some people that I know, love and admire have taken their own lives. The last person who did it, had a great impact in my live. In the 2 of May of 2007, a long friend of mine, Angelo, committed suicide with sleeping pills overdose and absinthe.

I've met Angelo by chance. In that time I was spending a lot of time in an antique shop admiring musical instruments. They were so old and beautiful that I was afraid that they could disintegrate just by looking at them. There I was, almost everyday after school, staring at them, absorbing all the details, until the shop owner pull an portuguese guitar and play for me... only then I went home. One of those day, a boy came to the store and stood by my side looking at the same thing that I was, a Stradivarius violin. Of all the musical instrument, that was my favorite. Supposedly it was an original Stradivarius, made by Antonio Giacomo Stradivari himself. He stood by my side some minutes and then said: "It's beautiful, isn't it? Some day I will play with it.". Some months later came his birthday and his parents gave him the violin. He knew that I loved that violin and invited me to come by his house, instead of coming to the store every other day. That way I could see the violin, touch it and he could play it for me. And that's what happened. Every day I went to his house and he played that violin for hours just for my delight.

As time passed by we went separate ways, but we never lost contact and always had time for one another.
Now that I don't have him with me, I have the first thing that bounded us, his violin. It's my true treasure.
I've never met someone so sensible, gifted, with "his feet on the ground". Never before have I missed him by my side, missed his sarcasm, his dark humor, his laughter... never before was I so honored and lucky to have met someone.

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Changes

  • Aug. 1st, 2008 at 2:12 AM
Doll
Here I am again, almost an year later and for a change, I changed my mind.
It doesn't make much sense (and it's boring) to post my ramblings in two places, so I decided to divide my posts by subject between the blog and the Lj. I'll post my personal things in the Lj and the rest will go to the blog. So I'll erase most of the post in the Lj that don't fit in "personal" and the ones remaining will be rewritten in english.

By the way, I've got to make a new layout *I'm so lazy*

That's it for now. See ya!

In Portuguese

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Finally

  • Aug. 25th, 2007 at 11:15 PM
Doll
Finally my first post on the livejournal!
I've an account in LJ since July 2006 but never posted anything... partly because I already have a blog. I didn't know if I should delete the blog and use my LJ or didn't write in my LJ and keep the blog.
So today, instead of dieing of boredom, I decided to write in the blog and in the LJ. So, for now, they will have the same texts... until I change my mind again.

Today was absolutely crazy!
It rained and thundered almost all day and we're in mid August. When I woke up at night with the noise of the thunders I thought it was some fireworks, but only when I woke up in the morning I realized that it was raining a lot. I hardly got out of bed (don't ask me why, but it's so hard for me to get out of bed in the saturday mornings), dressed up and ran to the equestrian center slightly late. When I say slightly I mean 5 minutes. 5 minutes! And because of that 5 minutes I was scolded by the owner of the center. It seems that doesn't count that I always get to the center more than 30 minutes earlier to get the horses ready. Well... I left him talking to himself and went prepare the horses. And because it was raining, I had to give the class indoors, in the arena. In the arena I don't have much chances then to hold the ropes while the kids ride and so I didn't ride a horse, witch means it was boring. If they didn't pay me that well, I shouldn't bother to get up so early.
I got home thinking that the lunch was ready when -astonishment- I find Dev lying in the couch with a "I just wake up" face. "Let's lunch" I said, and she answered: "Oh!  I forgot!". I didn't react. After almost not sleeping at all (as usual), being starving, irritated, frustrated e with an horrible head hake, the only thing I could do was to sank in to the couch. Summarizing: I had to force Dev to make a bowl of cereals with milk witch we both devoured.

What made my day was Lasher, with a smile from ear to ear, all worked up about our trip. Talking about trip, we're getting in a plain in less than 24 hours and I didn't even thought about what I should put in the bags. And don't even know how the weather is in Munich, nor what will we do there... I just know that we'll go tomorrow.

Well, I think that I wrote more that enough for the first LJ post and I don't want to depress anyone with my all so depressing days. I guess I'll go meet Leozinho to relax a bit.

Special kisses to Dev (onisan of my kokoro), to Yuu (the most adorable mimizu of all times), to Kasumi san (my vanilla) and to Lash (my dearest momo).

See you in the next post!

In Portuguese

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A velha e o bolo de mel

  • Aug. 7th, 2006 at 3:20 AM
Doll
A Velha e o Bolo de Mel


http://www.animevisions.net/couples.php

Hi hi folks ^-^
Eu sou a Devilish Girl a irmã adoptada da Anuxa (pra kem não sabe a Anuxa é o nome da Luciferiana *sort of*)
Komo a Luci não tem muito tempo para vir ka actualizar e o blog ta entregue á bicharada - aos amigos amalucados ke ela tem - eu venho ka tb deixar a minha markinha.

Não esta não é 1a historia dakele tipo do era 1a vez yadda yadda. Esta é 1a historia ke se passou kom a Luciferiana *my dearest friend* á 1s meses atras, kontada pelas proprias palavras da Anuxa.

AVISO:
Esta historia não é recomendavel a pessoas sensiveis because a me mijando a rir kuando ouvi ^-^

"...nem imaginas o que me disseram hoje! Sabes aquela velhota que está sempre a coscuvilhar? Hoje quando sai do trabalho encontrei-me com o Lasher. Vinhamos os dois a subir a rua quando eu vejo a velhota com a cabecita de fora para ver quem era. Eu disse boa tarde bem rápido para ver se ela não me chateava com as conversas do costume, quando ela disse:
- Mas que rapazinho bonito. É o seu novo namorado?
Bem, eu ia morrendo. O Lasher ficou vermelho como um pimento e riu-se. E eu lá disse:
- Não, Sra Bia. É um amigo.
E como se não bastasse, ela sai-me com esta:
- Ah! E vão ouvir musica agora? Aquela musica que pareçe musica lá dos rituais satanicos que a gente não percebe nada do que eles dizem, com aqueles grunhos todos. Pareçem bichos a grunhir. Ai, filha, essa musica não te faz bem nenhum.
Olha, eu ia-me passando! Mas sorri para a velha e disse:
- Ah, sra Bia. Aquilo é que é musica. E não acha que eu estou bem? Graças aquela musica, eu quando tiver a sua idade não vou estar como a senhora, cheia de rugas e de cabelo branco. Vou estar igualzinha como estou agora!
E não é que o raio da velha riu-se e não levou a mal o que eu disse? Até me ofereceu um bolo de mel."

Uhahuahuahuahuah
A Anuxa é mesmo assim. Trata mal as pessoas y estas kontinuam a gostar bue dela O.o
And why is that? Porque é a pessoa + adoravel ke vcs podem vir a konheçer. Y tambem porke ela é a minha mana gemea adoptada ^-^
But não é que a velha tinha razão??? That's right. Desde o principio de Agosto ke a Anuxa anda nas nuvens and beyond.
São perfeitos 1 pro outro. Parecem aquelas pinturas antigas e por isso eu fui á procura de 1a pic que me fizesse lembrar eles et voila.
And i hope to see them happy forever after *medo do Lasher*

PS.: Anuxa espero ke gostes. Mim portou se muito bem. Lov ya.

E komo ela diz: Fiquem bem e até ao próximo post!

By: Devilish Girl

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Fevereiro

  • Feb. 13th, 2006 at 11:11 PM
Doll
Fevereiro



Fevereiro. Possivelmente um dos meses que menos gosto. O mês que menos gosto.
Primeiro vem o dia dos namorados. Um dos dias mais ridiculos do ano. Dia puramente comercial em que quem tem a sua metade da laranja se sente obrigado a comprar um presente e a fazer um programa especial... que no fim das contas é igual ao do ano que passou. Para quem ainda não achou a sua metade da laranja é um dia para passar em casa, qual prisioneiro. Quem já saiu á noite neste dia sabe bem do que estou a falar: restaurantes apinhados de casais e empregados ridiculos a oferecer rosas á entrada; cinemas cheios com smach e barulhos de sucção como barulho de fundo; discotecas e bares com promoções para casais e cheios até á porta. Parece que os casalinhos só se lembram que estam apaixonados neste dia.
E alguns dias depois, qual cereja em cima do bolo, vem o Carnaval. Tal como outros feriados religiosos, já ninguem se lembra porque é feriado nem o que o Carnaval celebra. Se nós, portugueses, celebrassemos o Carnaval com os nossos costumes e como era tradição, menos mal. Mas não! Temos de, mais uma vez, imitar as tradições dos outros paises, neste caso, do Brasil. Só que esqueceram-se de um promenor: cá é inverno e lá verão. O resultado não é lá muito bonito... Mulheres semi-nuas a dançar em cima de carros alegoricos. Não porque gostem da musica, mas porque estão a morrer de frio e ainda agora começou o desfile e têm mais uma hora e meia de vento e chuva pela frente. Homens que durante todo o ano dizem-se machões, que nesta epoca dão azo á mulher que têm dentro de si e se transvestem porque acham que tem piada. Gente que canta e dança durante tres dias ao som de musica que durante o resto do ano jura não gostar... mas o que salva gente como eu que não gosta deste mês é que é o mês mais pequeno do ano.
Mas tambem acontecem coisas boas em Fevereiro.
O Hitsuke-kun, aquele ser tão fofo, faz aninhos. Pensando bem, agora vou passar a chama-lo de Hitsuke-san... afinal idade é testemunho, certo? Muitas felicidades, Hitsuke.
E o querido do Yuu chega hoje. Tenho de o ir buscar ao aeroporto... por isso vou ter que ficar por aqui, que já estou atrasada. Vou tentar actualizar com mais frequencia o blog, nem que seja para fazer shitty posts como este.

Fiquem bem!

Ah! E detesto palhaços...todos menos o Közi-san.

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